Today I was reading a blog and this quote was so profound, I have to share.
"We spoke of the fact that as mothers, humans, we refer to “losing” someone and the grief and longing, but, that our children are their own souls too, on their own journey, not simply something we “have” and “lose.” That we are spiritual beings in human form, as she stated, “a soul has passed through you, touched you – the longing is natural.”
It has been such a long time since I have posted. Life has been wonderful. My daughter is 6 and just finished kindergarten. My son is now 3 and is so funny! I feel blessed beyond measure every day. I still mourn my angel babies, Carter more than the others, right or wrong. It is hard to believe almost 5 years have passed since we lost him. Every time I see a young boy, about the age he would be, with down syndrome, I think of Carter and wonder what might have been. We are very open with the kids about him. We talk about him and answer their questions. Every time a butterfly flutters by, my daughter smiles and says "That's Carter saying hello!" The longing is so real. There are still moments where my arms ache to hold him and my heart longs to kiss him and see him. Longing is the best word there is to describe that feeling.
I continue to feel the sadness of infertility and miscarriage as others who are close to us deal with similar situations. I just want to be able to give them the happy end to their journey that we were so blessed to receive. I can feel their pain right down to the core of my being with each loss or each month they don't conceive. Friends and family with one blessing, wanting more or those who have no living children, but have experienced multiple miscarriages. That just seems unbearable to me. My heart aches for them and my prayers are with them. Once you have been there, I don't think it takes much to bring those feeling flooding back.
I always like to end my posts on a positive, upbeat note. I must say that most of the women I started following years ago have also had amazingly happy endings to their stories too! I am friends with some on Facebook, and the others, I check in on their blogs once or twice per year. The most promising thing to me, for those still struggling, is that most of these warrior women have achieved their dreams of creating a beautiful family! Even those who had little hope. So, if you are currently reading this in your own personal sorrow, please keep your hope alive! Much love and many prayers to you!
