Forgetting About TTC...yeah, right.

So, I'm finding it really difficult to forget about TTC this cycle, now that ovulation time is near. I have been randomly taking OPK's. Today's is kind of confusing because one brand looks positive and the other does not. I've had this same thing happen before with these two brands and it's really frustrating.

I'm not purposely timing anything, but part of me knows I should ovulate in the next few days, so I keep thinking about BDing just in case. It's always in the back of my head. I guess you can't keep a girl who's been TTC for the better part of 11 years from trying for long. I go on my big getaway in a week and I'd rather not be obsessing then, so I can just be easy breezy and have a fun time with nothing to worry about, so that makes me want to wait...but it's just so hard when you know there might be a chance to get pregnant! I also would rather wait until we can do it with the meds we talked to our RE about to hopefully up our chances at a healthy baby. So, logically I know I should wait, but there is this part of me that thinks that if it happens this month, then it was meant to be and maybe it would be our healthy take home baby anyway. Although it has happened spontaneously before and it didn't end well. This is how my brain works - around and around in circles. I guess we'll just continue NTNP (not trying, not preventing) this month and see what happens. Next month we will move on to our plan - Clomid/HCG trigger shot. Until then, I will continue to obsess over peesticks because that is one of the things I do best.