It's December. The month I have been dreading since we lost our son in July. His due date was December 16th. I've been an emotional mess today. Lots of tears have fallen.
I hate how this month is full of both happiness and sorrow! It seems so unfair! Our daughter will turn 2 on the 22nd. Celebration and joy! We are looking forward to celebrating Christmas with our extended family. We are enjoying seeing the look of excitement and wonder in our daughter's eyes! Yet these waves of sorrow blanket my heart from time to time.
I've been on the phone this week. We still don't have results back about the last miscarriage. I'm currently setting up some of the testing anyway. I have a lot of blood work to be done. They'll do a thyroid check, lupus profile, and chromosome testing. I wonder how many viles of blood they'll have to get.
A few people acknowledged the month today and that they are thinking of us. I was very touched by that. More than I can put into words. It's going to be a very difficult few weeks.
Creating a family isn't always easy. We had years of unexplained infertility, went through fertility treatments, had a beautiful daughter, conceived naturally, had an early miscarriage, conceived naturally again, had a second trimester miscarriage, conceived naturally again only to lose the baby at 9 weeks. We moved on to fertility treatments again and got pregnant but miscarried due to a blighted ovum. Pregnant again with fertility treatments and blessed with our rainbow baby boy in May 2012.
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