Sunday, March 13, 2011

Hoping For A Miracle

I haven't been able to come here and actually say it out loud yet. It's just so unbelievable to me at this point. We need a miracle right now!

I went in on Friday at 6 weeks pregnant for my first ultrasound. We did not see what we had hoped for on the screen. The baby was there, in my uterus, but measuring less than 5 weeks with a yolk sac, but no heartbeat. The prognosis is grim. I just can't believe I could possibly have 4 miscarriages in a row in a little more than 1 year after having a perfectly healthy daughter. What on Earth could be wrong? She took my betas again and I got a call on Saturday with the results. Progesterone is 38, which is great. HCG is 2786. My RE said it should be around 4000. I put my numbers into the betabase calculator and it gave me a doubling time of 66 hours. Typical doubling time is 48-72 hours, so it is still within normal range. That is giving me a tiny bit of hope. The website Misdiagnosed Miscarriages is also giving me some hope. I'm trying not to have false hope and I'm trying to be realistic. I know the odds are not in our favor (we seem to go against the odds lately, so maybe we will again, and this time it will be to our advantage). I think I just need to hold on to some hope right now. Hope that I ovulated a couple days later than I thought, that the baby implanted a little late, that my tilted uterus or where the baby implanted makes it more difficult to see on ultrasound, that it's starting out growing a little slow but will catch up and be healthy...hoping for a miracle <3

We go back in for another ultrasound this Friday. So much can happen in one short week at this stage. Please let that miracle be there with a strong heartbeat!

3 comments:

LisaB said...

Oh Michele, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am praying hard for a miracle. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers. My heart just breaks thinking of you going through the unknown. Hugs.

meggola said...

I'm pulling for a miracle for you too. I hate to see you go through this again. I really hope that the u/s was just a couple of days earlier than it should have been and that everything is a-ok in there. (hugs)

Pepper said...

I have my fingers and toes crossed for you! Good luck! The roller coaster of emotions is so tough and I hope yours end on the up this time! If you want to read my story it's at www.thelifeandtimesofpsa.blogspot.com