Reflecting

I've been reflecting on how important this internet community of women is to me. The road we are on as Mothers, Mother-In-Waiting, Miscarriage Survivors, Infertility Battlers, and Infertility Survivors is not an easy one. I am continuously amazed at the openness and compassion each woman has for each and every journey, no matter how easy or difficult. Had I gone through the past several years without you all in my life, I know I would not be as strong on this side of it as I am today. For that I thank you.

"Our lives begin to end, the day we remain silent about the things that matter to us." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

I am so impassioned with sharing my story if only to help one person feel less alone on this journey. I have been thinking about other ways to give back to this community, maybe more directly to those suffering from these things in my community. I'm not sure I've come up with "the" idea yet, but I've been considering some different options...I'm just not sure how to get the ball rolling. At least with this blog I feel like I am contributing in some small way.

I met with my general practitioner yesterday. She has scheduled me for an MRI/MRA of the head on Tuesday, May 10th. I'm not too worried about the procedure itself, just the IV for the contrast because of my tricky veins. However, I am so worried about the results! My stupid anxiety always convinces me I'm going to find out some horrible deadly thing with every test I have done. So, hopefully the results come back all normal and we can move on with my RE.

My anxiety has been getting worse with each miscarriage. I also talked to my GP about going back on my anxiety meds. The ones that would work for me are all Class C and I would have to come off of them in the 3rd trimester, so I'm not sure it's worth the risk (which is why I've been off of them since I got pregnant with my daughter). I'm not really sure what to do, I just wish I didn't feel so worried about everything. She has left the decision up to me and doesn't have a problem with me being on them through the first and second trimesters. I just don't know...