I got my MRI/MRA results today. Let me just tell you how nice it is to get good results for a change! Everything looks normal! We can proceed with our plan to use Heparin or Lovenox with the next pregnancy and I don't have the additional stress of worrying about a brain aneurysm in the near future. I am more relieved than I even realized I would be. I think my fears of brain aneurysms have been hanging over my head ever since my mom had one several years ago. I feel a great amount of relief.
In other news, I think I finally ovulated on Saturday night or Sunday last weekend. My body kept revving up to O for a little while now, but I never did get a full positive OPK until Saturday. It was blazing and I had horrible O pains Saturday night into Sunday. My cycles may not be predictable, but what I experience during ovulation is fairly standard for me, and by now, I know how to read the signs. It was a pretty strong O especially for not being on Clomid this cycle.
Technically, I could start Clomid again with my next AF and jump in immediately. My RE has OK'd this, as long as I had my MRI results in and they looked good. I'm considering taking one more cycle off. I'm thinking mentally and emotionally I might need a little breather. This is another due date month for our little girl we lost. Those months are always more difficult. Although July 9th is the one year anniversary of the loss of our son. That will be beyond difficult too. I also feel like I have been either pregnant or miscarrying for a year and a half straight now with hardly any breaks in between. I think I need to let my hair down for a second and live a bit of life that is not completely focused on where I am in my cycle and what test I'm going to have done next. I have a two day road trip with a girlfriend planned in June to see New Kids on the Block with Backstreet Boys (NKOTBSB) in concert. It would be nice to do that without thinking about ovulation or testing or "am I pregnant" moments or worrying that I'll be O'ing on meds when I'm not with my husband. I have been working out and trying to tighten up my forever loose stomach muscles after all these pregnancies and have been buying, for the first time since before I was pregnant with my daughter 3 years ago, real clothes, not maternity clothes. I'm just starting to feel good about getting myself back to normal, at least a little bit. My only concern with waiting is my age and my cycles being long. I'm afraid that waiting one cycle will end up being more than just one month. Part of me is ready to go for it immediately again. I have a stash of OPK and HPT test strips sitting in my closet (and by stash I mean about 35 OPK's and 90 HPT's, which I can easily go through in a couple of cycles, haha). I guess I have about a week to make up my mind, but right now I'm leaning towards taking one more cycle off.
Creating a family isn't always easy. We had years of unexplained infertility, went through fertility treatments, had a beautiful daughter, conceived naturally, had an early miscarriage, conceived naturally again, had a second trimester miscarriage, conceived naturally again only to lose the baby at 9 weeks. We moved on to fertility treatments again and got pregnant but miscarried due to a blighted ovum. Pregnant again with fertility treatments and blessed with our rainbow baby boy in May 2012.
1 comment:
So glad to hear that your results are good! That is great news. I totally get being torn over when to start trying again, and I wish I had an easy answer for you. The old fall back is always the not trying not preventing, but I think I might just relax and give it a cycle. Who knows maybe staring at all those boy band members will get your reproductive juices flowing again!
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