Thursday, May 17, 2012

I'm A Big Sister!

I am overjoyed to be able to post something as wonderful as this for my daughter! She is absolutely the BEST big sister that ever was. She is legitimately ecstatic to be a big sister. As we left for the hospital she kissed my belly and said "We'll see you soon, Sawyer" and my heart melted. She also told me that when I got home from the hospital my belly would be flat again and shouted out "Yay!" - maybe because that meant, in her mind, that Mommy would be able to get down on the floor to play again! The day after he was born she arrived at the hospital with her Grandparents. She was proudly carrying a big blue teddy bear balloon that said "It's A Boy" that she picked out at the hospital gift shop as she tiptoed in the door and cocked her head to get a first peek at her new little brother. She was wide eyed as she walked up to me to see him, wearing her "Big Sister" shirt. She asked to see his feet and hands, then looked up at me and said "He's beautiful!" - I was in a puddle of happy tears. I didn't expect that from a 3 year old, she is the sweetest little girl. She was so excited to get to hold him for the first time with Daddy's help. With each new person holding him, she wanted to explore his feet and hands, she has been fascinated with them for two weeks. After the visit, she got to go to the hospital cafeteria with Daddy and Grandma and Grandpa for lunch and I heard she got complimented by a stranger for how well behaved she was.



I ended up needing to stay in the hospital an extra day for a test for a blood clot in my leg (luckily, no clot was there), so my Husband had to run home to take care of a few things. He said when he got home she hugged him then ran down the hall saying "Where's my baby?" and she was so disappointed that Brother and Mommy were still at the hospital.

The following day we finally got to come home. She was waiting at the door as we came in and she was almost vibrating with excitement when she saw her baby brother. She checked him out, then started squealing "I'm a big sister now!!" It was like it was official in her mind now and she couldn't wait to scream it from the mountain tops! After getting settled in a bit, she sat down beside me, rubbed my belly and said "It's flat again!" (which it isn't, just more flat than it was), then she got a little grin on her face and said "Hello Nobody" to my belly, which had us all cracking up! Smart little girl realized there was no longer a baby in there.

The past two weeks have been mostly good. I have a lot of anxiety and worry that something is wrong with him. We had to have ultrasounds done on his kidneys and hips because of the single umbilical artery and the breech position. Luckily those came back completely normal. We have his two week pediatrician appointment today. He sleeps a lot, which I worry about even though the pediatrician says it's normal for some newborns to sleep 22 hours per day. My milk production is poor, so I'm hoping that will boost up. I started back on my anxiety medication and I'm hoping that will give me some relief in the next week or so. Right now I have some chest congestion, so I'm wearing a mask and trying to breast feed as much as possible because I can't even think about how worried I'd be if he caught this! I'm grateful my husband is home to help until Monday. Our daughter is adjusting well. Mostly all good things and she really loves to help and play mommy to her baby dolls and stuffed animals. Every once in a while she acts up a bit when she isn't getting play time with us when she wants. All in all we are settling into a little family of four groove and life couldn't be better!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Our Rainbow

My 37th week of pregnancy started out beautifully. On Tuesday, May 1st my husband and I had a couple of doctors appointments spread out, so we decided to make it a date day. He called and set up a pregnancy massage for me as a surprise. We started out the day at the OB's office. She was worried he flipped back breech because of how I was carrying, so she had me step into the ultrasound room quickly. Luckily he was still head down. My appointment was fairly uneventful. My group B strep test came back negative, height of fundus measured 39 weeks (she said he's all stretched out), a finger tip dilated and soft. Everything looked good and we were on our way. We went to lunch at our favorite restaurant, First Watch, then did some shopping. I got two more potential coming home outfits, one at Janie and Jack and another at a cute little boutique we stumbled upon. After some shopping we went to my NST. Everyone at both appointments kept talking about my version and all the "excitement," guess we were the talk around the office. Now that he's not breech, it's harder to keep him on the monitor, he kept moving away, she had to buzz him to get him moving, then he wouldn't slow down. It was one of my more stressful NST's and even though they let me go and said he looked fine, I was still a bit nervous after what happened last week. My ultrasound there looked fine, amniotic fluid at a good level, but my husband and I got really nervous when the tech who called us back was the hard pusher. She said she recognized us and I wondered if she had been told about my complaint. This time she pressed a normal amount and it didn't hurt at all. Next was dinner out, grilled shrimp at Chili's, then on to Becoming Mom Spa for my pregnancy massage and paraffin foot treatment. It was so relaxing. A huge storm blew in on our way there and we were both drenched by the time we made our way from our front row parking space. Neat thing about that storm, on the way home, we saw a double rainbow. That is the second double rainbow I've seen recently. I knew that had to be a good sign for our rainbow baby.

Wednesday was a normal day, nothing too terribly out of the ordinary. I continued to have contractions and I felt a little off both Tuesday and Wednesday (I was actually nervous I wouldn't make it to my massage because I'd go into labor). I was losing small bits of my mucous plug on Wednesday, which made me hopeful something was happening to help me go into labor before they induced me at 39 weeks. I also thought the exam from the day before may have stirred some things up and it wouldn't amount to much. I played with my daughter, did laundry, and had a typical day, but warned my husband it could be any day now, although I assumed it would be at least a week away. That night I went to sleep a little later than usual, woke up at 4AM for a typical bathroom trip, layed back down and waited for him to kick before falling back to sleep (my typical protocol). He wasn't kicking and I started to get really worried...after 15 minutes I woke up my husband and he got the doppler. I searched for his heart beat but didn't know where to look for it since he flipped, so I was freaking out more until I finally found it and felt him kick several times after about 45 minutes. It has never taken him that long in the past, so my anxiety was through the roof and I couldn't help but wish he would just come so I could stop worrying (which I know will never happen, I'm his Mommy, I'll always worry). Finally back to sleep around 5AM.

6AM on Thursday, May 3, 2012 I awakened to a pop, or a strong kick, I wasn't sure which for a moment, until I felt a familiar small gush of fluid. Maybe he just kicked my bladder, I didn't think I'd really have him this early - 37 weeks 5 days. I tapped my husband and said "honey, I think my water broke" and he helped me slowly get out of bed. More fluid gushed and was convinced it was my water, so I hopped in the shower quick while my husband made phone calls to his parents to come and watch our daughter, to my doctor who said to come on in to triage, and to my parents to come on down to the hospital. As I got ready I soaked two bath towels, but contractions weren't any different than they had been for the past couple weeks. As we left for the hospital I realized we had a 25 mile drive downtown in morning rush hour traffic and I was glad the major contractions hadn't started yet. It was a beautiful, warm and sunny May day. The contractions started to pick up a bit in the car and I started feeling light headed, so when we got to the hospital I had my husband wheel me up to the 9th floor in a wheelchair. I got checked into labor and delivery triage right away, leaking all the way, so it was kind of funny when they said "so, you think your water broke" to which I said "I'm sure of it!" I got hooked up to the monitors, had an exam (2cm dilated at this time), and a quick ultrasound to make sure he was still head down. All systems go, I was being admitted.

They walked me to suite 2, a nice big birthing room, hooked up my IV, and told me to walk the halls to try to get the contractions and dilation going. My parents arrived and the four (5) of us started walking. I took a couple of breaks to sit on the birthing ball, played Bananagrams, and then my contractions started to pick up a little bit around 11:00 or 12:00. At 11:30 I was still only 2cm and since it had been almost 6 hours since my water broke, we started a low dose of pitocin. At 1:30 the contractions were getting a lot worse, so I got an epidural. At 2:00 I was already 5cm dilated. I was really shaky after the epidural and really anxious, so the next couple of hours weren't the most fun. At 4:15 I was 7cm and they upped the pitocin a bit, telling me I'd probably be ready to push in about an hour. Then I started to feel the contractions again, even with the epidural. I had to breathe through them and asked for a bump up in my epidural meds. I wish I hadn't because it just made my legs completely numb but I could still feel major contractions in my stomach. At 5:20 I was 9cm and they told me to let them know when I felt pressure and needed to push. My contractions were coming with only a 30 second or so break in between. Sometime between then and 5:45 I felt the sensation of pressure and asked to be checked, I was 10cm and ready to push. He was face down, unlike my daughter, who was face up and it took me three hours to push her out. They called for my MFM while the resident and nurse prepped the room. It was SO hard not to push and to breathe through these intense contractions. I had to breathe through them for about 5 minutes waiting for my doctor and I was worried he would just pop right out! Once she got there I put my legs up in the stirrups and pushed with the next contraction, they could see his head, my husband peeked, I asked if he had hair and he said he did. Another contraction and some more pushing, they said I was doing great. I remember being worried that I couldn't hear him on the fetal monitor anymore, so I was determined to push effectively and get him here as fast as I could. It was only a total of 5 or 6 contractions, my husband said "here he comes!" and I felt him slide out, he cried within seconds and it was the most beautiful sound in the world. After my doctor cut the cord (my husband had zero interest in doing that with either of our children), they put him on my chest and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I was oblivious to the world around me where they were busy delivering the placenta and stitching up a second degree tear (I tore where I did with my daughter). His Apgars were 9 and 9. He weighed 7lbs. 8.8oz., 19.5" long and born at 6:11PM on May 3, 2012. He and my daughter are the most amazing, awe inspiring, loves of my life. I feel so blessed to be given these treasures and I will spend every day of the rest of my life loving them always and forever.

Welcome to the world, my beautiful rainbow baby


Monday, May 7, 2012

May 3, 2012

He's Here! I will write a much more detailed post in the days to come, but I wanted to let everyone know that our beautiful rainbow baby decided May 3, 2012 would be a good birth day. He arrived at 37 weeks 5 days, at 6:11 PM, weighing 7 lbs. 8.8oz., 19.5" and is the most beautiful little baby boy in the world. We are home now and everyone is doing great. I'm looking forward to finding the time to share all the details on his arrival and on big sister's reaction soon.