Monday, July 9, 2012

Remembering

It's been two years since we first laid eyes on our sleeping angel baby boy. I miss him so much and wish he were here with us. I feel a bit numb about it this year, maybe because I have a new baby at home and I'm distracted...maybe because time starts to heal...maybe I am still trying to push it away because it's too painful. It tends to hit me at random times. I will be washing my hair in the shower and just start sobbing again. It hit me pretty hard right after our rainbow baby was born for several days, just realizing all the things I would never get to do with him and what we all missed out on. I searched the internet for poems that spoke to my heart when we lost him. Here are a couple that I found very touching.

Don’t let them say I wasn’t born, that something stopped my heart, I felt each tender squeeze you gave, I loved you from the start.

Although my body you can’t hold, it doesn’t mean I’m gone, this world was worthy not of me, God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul, what you are forced to face, you have my word, I’ll fill your arms, someday we will embrace.

You’ll hear that it was “meant to be, God doesn’t make mistakes,” but that won’t soften your worst blow or make your heart not ache.

I’m watching over all you do, another child you’ll bear, believe me when I say to you, that I am always there.

There will come a time, I promise you, when you will hold my hand, stroke my face and kiss my lips and then you’ll understand.

Although I never breathed your air, or gazed into your eyes, that doesn’t mean I never “was”…An Angel Never Dies.

-Author Unknown

~~~~~

No farewell words were spoken,
no time to say goodbye,
you were gone before we knew it,
and only God can tell us why.
It broke my heart to lose you,
but you didn't go alone,
for part of me went with you,
the day God called you home.
-Author Unknown

~~~~~

I did not see you close your eyes,
or hear your last faint sigh,
I only heard that you were gone
too late to say goodbye.
-Author Unknown

~~~~~

We love you little one and miss you every day <3 Every time I see a butterfly I know that you are there.

3 comments:

Good Timing said...

I've missed your updates. How are things going? How's baby and his big sister? Hope you all are adjusting well! Sending you hugs about your post today. Breaks my heart. In solidarity with you.

lisabttc said...

What a beautiful post <3 Thinking of you and your sweet angel **HUGS**

Jess said...

Sending you big hugs. I don't know if you have read it, but Heaven is For Real is an amazing read...be ready for tears but it adds confirmation that we will one day get to see our babies alive and well in Heaven ♥