Sunday, May 1, 2011

International Babylost Mothers Day

Today is International Babylost Mother's Day. I didn't know this day existed until someone I know who suffered a stillbirth told me about it and passed on the love and support to me. 
"United in grief, we find love and strength. IBMD recognizes babylost women all over the world as mothers. Just because a woman loses her first baby does not mean that she is not a mother anymore. She will be a mother for the rest of her life. On this special day in May we come together to celebrate our connection, our children and our hope for the future. IBMD is a day for love, peace, remembrance and recognition. If you know a babylost woman why not tell her today that she is a beautiful mother. "
I have met many angel mommies over the past year and I want each of you to know that I am thinking of you today and I know that each of you is a wonderful mother to every single one of your babies whether they are at home with you are playing with the angels.
I'm a bit more emotional than usual tonight. I found out someone who was due the same day I was for our lost May baby had her twins today. I am really happy for her. She had a very scary and difficult pregnancy (the babies shared a placenta), and she was given frightening statistics from the beginning of her pregnancy. I recall being afraid for her and thinking to myself that she more than likely would be in my shoes. My odds were good, hers were not, she had 2 healthy babies, I lost my baby...funny how things work out. Doctors certainly can't predict everything. Needless to say, it has stirred up emotions for me.
I found out my beta HCG from last Monday was 14. I thought that was about what it would be based on the HPT that I took. I go on Wednesday to my general practitioner to talk about the CT Scan or MRI. I might talk to her about some safe anxiety medications too. I have been trying to hold off going back on them until after we have all of our children, but my anxiety has been getting worse with all that has been happening. I want to talk it through with her and see if there is a safe medication that could help.

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