Monday, July 4, 2011
I know I wasn't actively TTC this month, but when you think you are pregnant and get your hopes up, it's really a big disappointment to find out you really are not pregnant at all. It seems those green handled tests are famous for giving false positives (a few other people have had the same thing happen). I wish I had known that before I bought them. This is my warning to all you TTCers out there...do NOT buy the green handled 10mIU One Step IC tests! The night that I got that nice dark "positive" I took a Clearblue digital that said "not pregnant" and even though I had a questionable Clearblue +/- test...
...all my future green handled tests have gotten much lighter (although there is still a light second pink line). So, I'll wait for AF then start Clomid again. So much for that!
Happy 4th of July! We have had a fun weekend of celebration with friends and family. I'm exhausted, but had a great time! My daughter got to catch lightning bugs for the first time. She saw approximately 5 fireworks before saying "I wanna nap" and falling fast asleep in her stroller, only to wake up an hour later and ask for "more beautiful fireworks" (of course after the big show was over).
It was a little emotional for me because last year at this very time I was in pregnant bliss, only to have my walls come crashing in on the Tuesday after July 4th weekend with a call from my OB that started everything spinning. Our son's tree didn't make it through the winter...
This spring we kept waiting for the buds to arrive, but they never did. It's crazy how upset this made me. It was supposed to be something we planted in his memory that would live on...but it didn't, it died too. Saturday we went to the nursery to replace it. I chose one with pink blooms this time instead of red. Red made me think of blood with my miscarriage, and even though he was a boy, I think I'll like the pink blooms better. Hopefully this one makes it. I'd like to plant it on July 9th (his delivery day).
I'm trying not to dwell on the sadness and concentrate on the joy from our weekend. We really did have a wonderful holiday weekend with the most amazing little girl on the planet!