Betas More Than Doubling!

I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner. It's been a busy weekend and I am already feeling the exhaustion of the first trimester. I went in exactly 48 hours after my first beta blood draw on Thursday (14 DPO) and my beta HCG was 62! It doubled in 23.93 hours! I am thrilled with that! Here's what my test looked like a few hours before that blood draw...



The tests are continuing to get darker, which is always a comfort. Here are my latest tests from last night, the lighting is bad, but you get the idea...



I have my first ultrasound scheduled for March 11th, I'll be 6 weeks pregnant. I don't think she'll be doing anymore betas.

I've been having the typical cramps, fatigue, irritability, sore boobs, and mild waves of nausea. Those are pretty standard for me at this stage of pregnancy. I have a love/hate relationship with the cramps. I know I have them every pregnancy and they don't mean anything is bad, just that things are growing and progressing, so I am nervous if I don't feel them, but the cramps also make me nervous something is wrong. We are trying to stay positive and look forward to having a healthy take home baby around November 4th. It's difficult not to let the fear and anxiety creep in, but I'm trying my best to think positively.

Lines, Lines, Lines

Well, I have taken quite a few tests since the last ones I posted...yes, I realize that was only yesterday. This morning's 8AM tests weren't that different from yesterday's, maybe just a tad darker...

I called my RE's office to come in for a beta blood draw. I went in at 10:30 and my beta HCG came back at 15, progesterone at 33. Based on the above tests, 15 isn't too surprising and the progesterone is good. At 11:30 AM I took more tests, just look what a difference this made...

So, they are progressing amazingly! I love seeing "Pregnant" on the digital! Based on these, I'm shocked that just an hour earlier my HCG was only 15! I go back on Thursday (in 48 hours) for another beta. I'm really hoping they double! The tests make me feel confident, the low beta number makes me less so. I will, of course continue testing between now and then.

Thanks for all of the positive messages I've gotten from so many of you over at TwoWeekWait.com and other places. The support and kind words really help boost my positivity!



Do You See What I See...

I'm 11DPO, technically 10.5DPO. This morning I took a test and it was stark white. That really put me in a bad mood. I just felt like I was out for this month and I was really frustrated. Then, at noon, in true pee-on-a-stick-aholicness, I peed again...hmmm...what's that...does it have color...this looks promising...

I started to get really excited! I know to the untrained eye this may look negative, but to those of us who have taken literally hundreds of these things, this is a promising test! I held it for as long as I could, and at 2:30 I peed again. I knew I couldn't rely on 1 faint maybe line on 1 type of test. So I had the same result on the same type of test and had a nice faint pink line on a First Response Test. Yes, you still have to look very closely to see it. NOW I'm excited!!

Below it is saturated with color to pull out the pink line...

I tried a digital at that time too, but it said "not pregnant" - I hate seeing those words! I'm just hoping these lines get darker and we have our nice, strong, healthy, sticky, take home baby growing right now!

Things Are Looking Up!

I got a return call from the nurse at my RE's office today. Some of my test results are in and they look pretty good! The two I was most concerned about, my Glucose Tolerance Test and my PAI levels were both good! Now I'm not quite so nervous that I had to stop taking the Glumetza. I was having bad side effects with only a small 500mg dose (stomach pain, nausea, shaky). My understanding is that the main purpose for Glumetza was to keep those levels at a normal level. So, my PAI was a 6, they like it to be between 4-43. My Protein S & C came back good, cardiolipin also came back good.  My Antithrombin III level came back at a 32, normal range is 19-30, but my RE isn't too concerned with that number. I'm still waiting to get a few more of the results back. Hopefully those will be good too. The more tests that come back normal, the more relief and hope I feel!

I'm currently 7DPO and obsessing over pee sticks already! It's a good thing they have cheapies available. My chart looks good. I have some symptoms, but I always have pregnancy type symptoms on Clomid, so I'm not really giving them too much thought.

I decided to splurge on the Neevo prenatal vitamins. I ordered my 3 month supply and look at the warnings and it says to let your doctor know if you have any of the following...and kidney stones is on the list...great. I'm not sure why it lists that. I checked the calcium and it has less than my old prenatal. Maybe it's the type of folic acid. I already spent over $100 on them, so I'm going to take them and just ask the dr. the next time I see her. I'm pretty sure she knows I have kidney stones, but it's such a new product, she might not have known about any risks with them.

I feel like all of my posts have been so technical lately. I guess that is bound to happen with all the tests we've been having. I want to keep a good record for my memory of them all, and this seems like as good a place as any to keep it all straight. So there you have it, perhaps I'm over sharing, but you can always skim the technical junk if you want :)

I'm in a happy place right now. It was warm outside today, so I took my 2 year old out to play for the first time in months. We both needed to breathe in some of that fresh air! It felt so good! We went around looking at all the plants and trees in the yard. She kept asking what each one was. When we got to my son's tree and she asked, I told her that's your baby brother's tree. She repeated "baby brother's tree," and skipped off. Some days that could have made me sad. Today it felt nice. It was good to know that little things like that will ease her into the idea of once having had a baby brother, and I hope it's just a normal thing that way, not something we need to sit down and dramatically tell her about. I'm sure she'll have more and more questions as she gets older. The little things that are around that make it a part of every day life should help. We have a photo on the wall of me and my pregnant belly with our daughter holding my belly and looking up at me. I had to take it down for a short while right after he died because it just made me too sad. Now it feels like the only picture we can realistically put up of my son, and I feel like he needs his own place on the family picture wall.

I hope you all get a chance to breathe in some of this beautiful spring-like air we are having! I'm basking in renewed hope and new life this spring!

Lets Get Technical

I've had a confusing and strange week. This entry is going to be full of a lot of technical information, so be forewarned. Usually I can easily tell when ovulation is about to happen. That was not the case this month...have a look at my chart...

For whatever reason, my OPK's were not positive until Friday, but all other signs and symptoms point to ovulation overnight Thursday (CD14) into Friday (CD15). I had awful O pains starting around 7PM on Thursday. I also had an awful headache, which I usually get on O day. All I could do was curl up in a ball and go to sleep at 10PM, but I woke up every time I rolled over from my ovaries hurting so bad. I thought I might have to go to the ER I was in so much pain. I don't recall that from Clomid 3 years ago. I do remember pain, but I don't remember it being that bad! The pain was significantly better when I woke up, but I did have pain for the next day.

I had an appointment with my RE on Thursday (CD14). The ultrasound showed a good lining at 8mm and a good sized follicle on my right side at 26mm. My left ovary had 2 smaller follicles, the largest of those 2 was 12mm, so probably not big enough. I'm really happy to have 1 really good looking egg and pleasantly surprised and happy that my lining looks so good! It was always a little thin on Clomid before. Maybe the baby aspirin is helping with that.

We sat down to talk with her about results and testing and what all we should do. My homozygous PAI-1 4G/4G results were the main focus of conversation. I found out that my level had not been tested, so I may or may not have elevated PAI-1. We decided to have a lot of blood work done. Friday I went in to have a Glucose tolerance test and 9 different blood clotting disorder tests done. Those include PAI-1 levels, Protein S, Protein C, Factor 5 Leiden, Prothombin, Antithrombin, Phosphatidyserine Antibodies, Cardiolipin Antibodies, and Beta-2 Glycoprotein Antibodies. She had me start taking Glumetza Friday after the tests to treat PCOS and PAI-1. Unfortunately, my body is reacting poorly to it after 2 days. I've had stomach pain, nausea, aching kidneys, feeling shaky and dizzy, and fatigue. I don't think I'll take it tonight, and I'll call tomorrow to see what I should do. I'm struggling with this decision.

Most of my testing does not show PCOS, but I do have some things that make her lean toward that and she is treating me like a patient with PCOS. The things I do have are insulin related issues, acne, high cholesterol, and irregular periods. I do not show some of the classic signs, like cysts on my ovaries, obesity, high blood pressure, and hair growth in odd areas. My hormone levels are also all normal.

She also gave me a prescription for a new prenatal vitamin called Neevo DHA. It has 1mg of bioactive form of folic acid which is supposed to absorb better than synthetic folic acid (it will even bypass the blood clotting disorder MTHFR C677T). It's kind of pricey, so I'm on the fence. I just don't know what I need versus what is "just in case, let's try this." We have a lot to think about and a lot to decide on. Hopefully I'll have a nice, healthy BFP in about a week and everything will go perfectly!

Jumping In With Both Feet!

Hooray! I got back my results from the Clomid challenge and they are normal! I am feeling so relieved! My result was an 8 and they like it to be under 10. The funny thing about the Clomid challenge is that a normal result doesn't necessarily give me a good prognosis for conceiving, but a bad result would have given me a poor prognosis for conceiving. That's my understanding of it. I am just so happy not to have a poor prognosis at this point!

I'm looking forward to meeting with my RE on Thursday. I'm hoping to get more answers about the PAI-1 4G/4G diagnosis. I have a cold, so I haven't been able to do my glucose tolerance test (I could get a false positive result). I'm hoping to be able to do that on Friday so I can start the Glumetza for PAI-1. I'm also curious to see if I should test for other blood clotting disorders.

I am having some side effects from Clomid. Hot flashes, mood swings, and fatigue. I think my boobs grew another cup size too. My ovaries feel a little bloated and crampy, hopefully that means they are making a couple of nice eggs.

A friend sent me some really good Cd's for fertility and pregnancy. They are guided imagery Cd's by Belleruth Naparstek. The first time I started listening to the fertility disc, I started crying and I just couldn't stop. It was like I was releasing the sadness from my miscarriages and the fear. It felt good. I'm trying to find at least 20 minutes each night to listen. I feel like they are helping me stay positive. She offered these to me at just the right time. I was really low and wondering if I should throw in the towel, then she mailed me these, and they were just what I needed. Not only because they are great Cd's, but it meant so much to me to have someone in my corner at that very moment, helping me take the necessary steps forward that I just couldn't seem to manage on my own. I don't know if she reads my blog or not, but if she does, I want her to know how much that meant to me and how perfect her timing was. Sometimes people don't realize how important something that may seem so small can really be. I feel so blessed to have beautiful people like this in my life.

Today I feel good! I have a little spring in my step after hearing the good news! I'm looking forward to conceiving another baby! It is going to happen and it's going to be a perfectly healthy take home baby!

Optimistic

I'm feeling more optimistic today. Maybe it's because I finished my Clomid. Maybe it's because my body is gearing up to ovulate. I went to the hospital for my CD10 Clomid challenge blood work yesterday. Hospitals are strangely empty and eerie on Sundays. I'm hoping with all my might that I get good results. If I do, I know I'll be ready to jump into this round of TTC with both feet and a much more positive attitude. I go to my RE this Thursday and I feel hopeful and optimistic. We WILL get a good result!